Christopher Moore - Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

So a friend of mine lent me this book, apparently a funny bit of Bible-mocking sacrilege from humorist Christopher Moore. The idea is to fill the missing youth of Jesus, which the Bible doesn't describe, with a funny adventure story about Jesus and his pal Biff. It's good. But as I read it, I found that the book is in many ways different from what you would expect.

For starters, it's really not offensive in the least. It's clear that Moore has a warm, fuzzy affection for religion. Sure, Jesus and Biff are shown with human thoughts, emotions, and imperfections, and there are lots of sexy naughty parts. But Jesus is always shown as a great human being, putting his all into the difficult task of saving humanity and generally being a top-notch fellow. I guess you might get offended at this book if you have a purity ring for a soul, but if anything, it warmed my chilly atheist heart to the idea of Jesus.

Furthermore, Lamb is sometimes preoccupied with expressing serious religious and philosophical ideas. The part in the middle, in which Jesus visits Gaspar and the Buddhist monks, explores the connections and gaps between Western religious thought and Buddhism, which I liked because I too have struggled to reconcile Buddhist ideas with my own Western way of thinking. In between the jokes about yak poop, Moore gives us delicious food for thought, and I can say that this book has made a greater spiritual impact on me than both the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita.

But it's not all that good. Lamb is still a humor book first and foremost, and in that respect it's rather spotty. Some of the jokes made me laugh out loud (The Beatitudes scene is hilarious.) but many of them fell flat upon the ground. Moore's sense on humor is a bit juvenile at times, and I'm generally a fan of sexy jokes but I was quite tired of sodomy references by the end. Also, the last part of the book is disappointing, because Moore couldn't think of much to add to the death of Jesus, and it's pretty hard to liven that part up with jokes.

So all in all, Lamb is a good book that you will like if you are into religion, philosophy, history, or bestiality jokes. It's pretty flawed though. I'm very glad I read it but it doesn't make me want to read any of Christopher Moore's other books.

Gwen Stefani

So earlier today there was an orchestral riff stuck in my head. In my mind, I was frustrated that I could not figure out which song it was from. Imagine my dismay when I realized that it was the orchestral riff from "Hollaback Girl"! Oh no! But this is evidence to support my point: Of all the annoying, trashy pop singers in the world, Gwen Stefani is the best.

Why? Because Gwen Stefani is interesting. Compare her to Britney Spears or Lady Gaga or something. They all make fake, glitzy plastic music accompanied by videos of themselves being rich and sexy, all with the intent of making money. But Gwen Stefani's music and videos are both weird as hell. Take "Hollaback Girl"- the words are very irritiating, but the music is made of a sparse drumbeat with weird sound effects, with stabs of a guitar, and orchestra, and a marching band. And the line about bananas- who else can so entertainingly sum up the nature of the universe while teaching radio listeners how to spell? No one.

And have you heard/seen "Wind it Up"? It's another skeletal drum track whose flesh is a sample of the lonely goatherd song from The Sound of Music! Except it sounds almost eerie, and the music video is a creepy fantasy that reeks of robotic S&M. Also, "The Sweet Escape" is a really good song.

So in conclusion, I have only heard those three songs by Gwen Stefani. But I feel like her mission is to crank out the weirdest, most creative possible stuff that she can still sell millions of copies of and use to market her clothing brand. And that is an admirable mission.

Sergei Prokofiev - Peter and the Wolf

I've always liked this suite, or whatever it is. I watched the animated film that Disney made for Peter and the Wolf when I was a tyke, (wow! It was made in 1946.) and I always knew it was fantastic. It's such a simple idea, to give each character in a simple children's story a musical motif. It makes the music instantly evoke concrete ideas and emotions, which is perfect for children. You listen to the plodding clarinet melody that represents the cat and you can just see and feel its paws softly touching the ground as it slinks around. The melody is everything catlike distilled into soundwaves- its careful but self-satisfied gait, the hint of mischevious plots forming in its feline brain, et cetera. It's brilliant musical poetry. (The disney film illustrates this by replacing notes on a staff with animated cat footprints, which I think is pretty clever.)

But Peter and the Wolf is more than clever ideas. It's awesome, because Prokofiev is a brilliant composer. The melodies are powerful and haunting. Peter's theme makes my heart swell, and the wolf's theme makes me shiver. Every note, tempo, and dynamic is perfectly placed to make the music as stirring and beautiful as a children's story can possibly be. Peter and the Wolf is a simple and eloquent classic.

Today I downloaded the only recording of Peter and the Wolf I could find on the internet. It is narrated by David Bowie himself. Cool. I can see myself sitting in a comfortable den with my adorable and charming future children and playing it for them so that they will become addicted to good music. Excellent.

Introductory Post

This is a web-log (a "blog", if you must) in which I will review books, music, films, and maybe other things.

It is mostly an egocentric exercise, an outlet for my opinions and a way to practice writing, but if anyone reads it and likes it, that would be great. If you are reading this, please feel free to peruse my opinions about things, or even comment and say what you think about them.

I'm more of a clueless adolescent than an expert or connoisseur about anything, so don't let my arguments sway you too much.

Thanks for reading my words.